For some of us though – it’s not just about what attracts a man, but figuring out what makes him stick around, so you’re not bouncing back and forth between happy and depressed, waiting for texts and the next time you’ll see him. That’s why those “Rules” books sold faster than a paperback copy of 50 Shades of Gray. (Okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration.) Apparently, it’s all about figuring out what his game is – the man’s – what makes him tick, right? With Christian Grey, it was all about being a submissive (and relieving his own self-loathing, but I digress). With The Rules, it’s about making yourself unavailable and letting him chase you. Playing hard to get. Cuz a man – he likes to hunt.
Sigh. Yawn. Aren’t we tired of the games yet? Aren’t we tired of trying to figure out what a man wants and doing our best to pretzel ourselves into that shape and deliver? Or maybe it’s the opposite for some women – you’re so angry about having to play that game that every man who comes along is a little frightened of you, which doesn’t exactly make for warm, fuzzy romance.
So, what’s a girl to do? Pretend like she doesn’t care, hide her feelings, hope that he brings up his first? Act eternally cheerful, like nothing could make her sad or angry or “that crazy girl” one day? Call him and show she’s interested, or forget about him and move on to the next?
There is no one-size-fits-all answer to these questions. All of us have some weakness when it comes to relationships – and I’d like you to really think about yours – for instance, are you clingy, reserved, snobbish, insecure, too vulnerable, too hard, too something? Your guy has weaknesses, too – however amazing or chiseled or successful he is – and it will be hard to get to that next step if you’re not willing to brave past all that muck and try it out.
We all have our issues, our romantic challenges – and these take time to get past. Which means it’s important to get to know someone – truly know someone beyond the heady first dates and wild attraction. Which means giving men a chance when you might think – eh, I don’t know. Because in the end, you have to ask – is what you’ve been doing working for you? If not, maybe it’s time to try something new.