My new article for Digital Romance is all about whether you should take a break from dating – which is odd for those of us who dole out dating advice. We’re huge advocates of online dating and dating apps – and putting yourself “out there” to bring more opportunities into your life. Go, go go!!
But sometimes, you need to turn inward.
Take a rest. Figure out what it is you really want.
For most of us, dating is kind of a hamster wheel. We keep going cause we get going and we don’t really know how to get off, even when it starts to make us a little queasy. Even Taylor Swift says the idea of dating again gives her “a partial panic attack.” Just thinking of the hamster wheel is enough to envision getting sick again. All those dates with no end in sight. At least, this is how it begins to feel after a while.
The trick is dating without getting on the hamster wheel.
It’s all about being more intentional, instead of just going through the motions and hoping that someone comes along to rock your world and pull you off that wheel. Dating isn’t a numbers game, despite what the general assumptions are about it. It’s about honing in on what works for you – about creating the life you want, despite what other people tell you it looks like. You have to find out for yourself. (Read my article on how to do this here.)
So take some time for yourself. Slow down. Do yoga. Pick up a new hobby. Find enjoyment with your friends and family instead of a hook-up. There is much more to life than meeting some guy who makes you swoon. There is so much more to you.
XO
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
Ms. Cheevious says
You are SO ON IT girl. This is exactly why I loved your book. People get lost in making others happy and trying to impress people on dates, and forget to know or understand what THEY really want. Great post!
mike says
I think it is a good idea to not get to caught up in finding a specific someone because it seems a person may just get to obsessed with it.
Good to do other things and keep in touch with the special people in your life. One thing I have noticed, is that most hot romances seem to catch you by surprise. You were not on a date, you were just out doing something and happen to meet somebody type of thing.
Good things happen when you aren’t looking. Besides, when you are with those other people or doing those other things, you probably stand a better chance of making a real connection than at a club or something. You are still out and about, just not specifically looking at that moment.
Single Dating Diva says
I think we do need to take time away from serial dating and over extending ourselves but, not dating with purpose. What that means is that if something good comes along we should take the chance. Taking care of you is what is most important and keeping it real. Great post!