Mastering the art of confrontation has eluded me for years.
The art of confrontation has eluded me for years.
I can’t describe how hard it is for me. The physical effect it has on me. My mouth goes dry, my throat tightens, I feel my voice shake. I don’t mean normal, daily confrontation (like when I get annoyed at my husband for leaving the kitchen a mess…ha!). But confrontation with a capital C – the kind where you must stand up for yourself and do the right thing, even if it makes everyone uncomfortable, even if they don’t understand.
When you are advancing in your career, this is a common dilemma, especially for women.
We are taught to be people-pleasers, but we need to establish clear boundaries with work colleagues in our jobs.
This often means confronting people – your boss, your co-workers, etc., when you aren’t treated fairly, or when you’re misunderstood, or when you’re overlooked. Projects come up and miscommunication happens. And confrontation can be daunting, especially when you want to just get along.
Maybe confrontation is an issue in your personal life. Let’s say you’ve had problems with a sibling, an in-law, or even a good friend, but were too afraid to address the problem directly, to let them know you were hurting? Maybe you didn’t think your pain was worth risking the relationship, so you set your feelings aside. Rest assured, if you don’t confront it, the frustration will come out in other ways.
If you are having problems standing up to your boss in order to protect yourself, or if you try so hard to please others that by the end of the day, you’re emotionally wrung out, this post is for you.
I’m so pleased to share that my essay on a personal struggle I had with confrontation was just published on Tiny Buddha, an amazing website you must check out, chock-full of great experiences and life advice.
Have you struggled with honoring your own needs above those of others? What did you do?