I feel like there’s this unspoken acknowledgment when it comes to dating that people don’t really want to step up to the plate. We all kind of collectively shrug our shoulders and say “that’s how it is.” We accept texts to hang out at the last minute or late at night, we go on pseudo-dates where we don’t know if it’s really a date, or we just keep hooking up even if that’s not really what we want.
I’m not referring to commitment issues, but something far more basic. It’s become a real challenge for a lot of people to ask someone out on a date. The idea of approaching a woman and letting her know you’re interested in going out is daunting. The idea of rejection can be almost paralyzing.We’d rather hide behind a mask of ambiguity than clearly state what we want.
Is courage missing when it comes to dating?
I just read about a new “dating” app called Truth where you can basically create a fake username and avatar and message people on your contacts list. You can avoid rejection altogether, because the object of your affection doesn’t have to know if you’re the one sending him little flirtatious texts. You can just send them incognito. It’s a whole new level of dating without really dating. Truth lets us all hide behind our masks.
It also means you can say whatever you want to whoever you want without having to admit what you did.
Truth’s co-founders say they created the app for flirting and “fun.” But what about the potential to do real harm anonymously? There are people who – like Internet trolls – go scrolling through their lists, taunting unsuspecting contacts without anyone knowing who they are. What if you are a high school student who uses it to bully classmates or harass your peers?
I’m just kind of done with all of this hiding. It’s important in life to have courage. To take chances even if things don’t work out. Courage helps you say what you want to say, even if it means you will be rejected. When you are face to face with someone, you can’t really pretend it’s someone else talking. It’s all you. And that’s scary. But it is also empowering.
I’m a fan of apps. They are convenient. They are fun. And most are free. But really investors, are these anonymous “dating” apps a good idea? Just what are we trying to say?
Love is not for the weak of heart. It is not for those who sit on the sidelines and avoid risks. It is for those who are willing to put themselves out there, to be courageous – and most importantly – be vulnerable.
Show me an anonymous app that can do that.