It’s hot here in L.A. – and we’re coming upon 4th of July weekend which means all kinds of craziness. We indulge in fireworks, cocktails, barbecues, live music, and let’s not forget—maybe a summer fling. Or two. Or three…
Summer has traditionally been a little more intrepid than other seasons. It doesn’t apologize for its debauchery or bad behavior. The days are longer, we’re more social, we become a more adventurous version of ourselves on the weekends. Maybe we drink a bit too much, or take a spontaneous trip with friends, or make plans to chill by a Vegas pool and see what happens.
But now, there’s Tinder. It has taken our social experimentation up a notch. For example, you could be lounging at the pool in Vegas and decide that there isn’t anyone there you want to talk to. Even with hundreds of people around you. So, you start swiping. And you see that there’s someone at another hotel pool that might be more interesting, so you start messaging. Then she drops off, and you’re back to swiping. (You still haven’t left your spot at the pool, btw.)
Here’s the deal: dating apps have made it incredibly easy to meet people, and to see who around you is a potential date/ hook-up/fling/etc. They’ve also made it increasingly hard to actually connect face to face.
People prefer to message than to talk. They prefer to swipe rather than walk around and check things out. I get it. It is easier, especially if you are a little more socially awkward. But where’s the magic in striking up a conversation with someone and seeing where it goes?
Tinder, you are a good thing, but sometimes people use you as a crutch.
Summer is filled with possibility, with romance. No matter how cynical you might have become, don’t deny that a little part of you becomes a little more hopeful, more observant of the people around you. You want to feel hopeful and romantic again. Which is why I’m asking you to put down your phones and start talking.
I know a man who met his now-girlfriend while he was waiting for his online date to show up. She was a half hour late, so he started chatting with the woman next to him at the bar. (Her online date was also late.) Pretty soon, it became obvious they wanted to be with each other, so they both ditched their online dates for the real-life encounter.
Here’s my point: People are all around you. Single people make up more than half of the US adult population. So you have a 50/50 chance that the person you strike up a conversation with at the bar is single. Why not try? Why not practice your social skills a little? There’s no need to be as clever or funny as you feel on social media or a dating app. People don’t want to connect with an image, they want to connect with a real person. Faults and all.
Instead of stressing out about your relationship timetable, or wondering if you look good in that dress, it’s time to let go. To have a little fun.
It’s time to be playful with your love life.
Talk to more people, date more, fall in lust a bit more. There’s nothing holding you back from enjoying the summer, without all the pressures you put on yourself about finding a relationship. Stop with the endless swiping. Look up. Just have some fun.
Summer love is here to stay. We just need to spend a little more time embracing it.
XO,
Kelly
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
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