Comments on: New “Rules” for dating?

By: Are “The Rules” Empowering Women or Demeaning Them? « Daily News

Are “The Rules” Empowering Women or Demeaning Them? « Daily News — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 06:22:58 +0000

[...] how is it that some women find these rules empowering, while women like Kelly at Notes from the Dating Trenches, find them offensive? One of Kelly’s big issue with the rules is that as she states [...]

By: admin

admin — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 01:11:59 +0000

Thanks for the mention Tina! “The Rules” kind of bug me because they are so generic—I don’t believe every man responds to them, and I worry about the relationships of the people who follow them.
I really like your site!

By: Tina T

Tina T — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 21:23:36 +0000

Hey Kelly,
I found your blog quoted over at Moxie in the City while I was doing some research about “The Rules.” I like your take, and it’s fascinating how differently women perceive these rules. Hope you don’t mind that it quoted you in my post, you had too many good points for me not to mention at least one.
Cheers,
Tina

By: Are “The Rules” Empowering Women or Demeaning Them? « LuvemOrLeavem Relationships – Relationship Advice for Women

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 21:17:35 +0000

By: Skye Blue

Skye Blue — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 14:02:20 +0000

I for one love the ‘New rules’, especially the ask for what you want bit.

I think the biggest mistake that women (and maybe even some men) make is not asking for what they want from the beginning of a relationship. Too many of us are too afraid that making requests (please note I didn’t say demands) will scare the guy off. But if you settle for less than you want in the beginning you are setting yourself up for a world of disappointment for the entirety of your relationship.

In answer to your questions:

Yes, it is better communicate directly what your feeling – as long as you recognize that the person you are communicating with may not receive what you have to say the way you’d like/expect.
Yes, men and women are capable of communicating effectively to one another – the corollary being that both parties involved are capable of separating their reaction to what they heard (i.e. their interpretation of it) from what was actually said and meant by their partner.

By: All Women Stalker

All Women Stalker — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 14:46:08 +0000

Right on about the “mind reading” thing. I find myself forgetting it every now and then but really, saying what you need to say and what you mean works wonders in relationships.

By: ally

ally — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 20:38:32 +0000

I would sometimes think a date went well, then never hear from the guy again. I recall one incident (online date of course), we met for the cup of Starbucks. Caught up in a great convo, he then suggested we go on to a nearby bar and continue our chat. I was sure he was feelin’ me… Then I never heard from him again – he ignored my “nice meeting you” email. I always wished that guys could simply say, “Look, you’re nice and all, but don’t expect to hear from me again.” This way you don’t go home and lay in bed that night wondering if you just met Mr. Right.
Ally@
Tales Of A Fourth Grade Nothing

By: Fish

Fish — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 20:26:45 +0000

Kelly, I am rubbish at dating/relationships, but in my 29 years I’ve never heard a truer word when it comes to matters of the heart than “if you feel there might be a problem, there probably is “. Brilliant.
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/